How I Realised I Was Gay
Hey there! Let’s dive into another candid chapter from Panos, our favourite YouTube storyteller with over 128K subscribers. This time, he’s peeling back the layers of his early life to share a pivotal moment: how he realised he was gay.
Disclaimer:
This video contains the personal experiences and perspectives of the creator. Each person's journey with coming out is unique. Viewers are encouraged to thoughtfully consider their own path and what resonates for them. The creator's story may not fully reflect all audiences' truths.
Trigger Warning: This article & video may cover sensitive topics like rejection, bullying, depression, anxiety, self-harm, and suicide. Please engage with care and seek support if you need it. You know yourself best.
Watch the video ‘How I Realised I Was Gay’
Unraveling the Early Signs
Panos takes us back to his childhood, where subtle clues hinted at his sexuality. From his earliest memories of playing with his sisters’ dolls and gravitating towards more feminine activities, there were signs Panos was different. But it wasn’t until adolescence that things started clicking.
He recalls feeling curiously drawn to male celebrities and athletes in the media in a way that was more than just admiration. He also remembers struggling to relate to his male peers’ budding interest in girls. While they ogled the opposite sex, Panos felt out of sync and confused. Inside, he knew he was attracted to the same gender but didn’t have the language or self-awareness to process those feelings.
The Middle School Revelations
Remember the confusion and curiosity of middle school? For Panos, this was a time of exploration and realisation. He shares stories of crushes on male classmates that left him flushed and flustered. The childhood signs suddenly added up like pieces of a puzzle – he was gay.
Panos vividly recounts the embarrassment and shame he felt during this time. He struggled silently with why he was different, wishing he could be “normal.” His story highlights the typical teenage journey of self-discovery and acceptance but with the added complexity of understanding his attraction to the same sex.
High School Crushes and Self-Discovery
High school brought new challenges and revelations for him. He shares his experiences of crushing hard on unattainable upper-level students and navigating the exhilarating but complicated world of gay attraction. We’ve all had those high school crushes, but most don’t also have to deal with the fear and anxiety of being gay in an unaccepting environment.
Panos opens up about a 2-year relationship he had with a closeted basketball player. They had to keep their romance secret for fear of being outed. This took an emotional toll on Panos, compounding the shame he already carried inside. But it was also his first real love – an eye-opening experience of connection and affection.
This period he marked immense personal growth on his journey towards self-acceptance. He realised that being gay didn’t make him less worthy of love, belonging, and respect. While he struggled to fully embrace his identity, the seeds of courage and authenticity were planted.
A Message of Courage and Authenticity
Panos’ story is more than just about realising he was gay; it’s about the courage to embrace who you are, even when it feels impossible. He hopes his honesty will inspire others on their journey of self-discovery.
Panos reflects on the years spent hiding his true self out of fear and shame. The liberation of finally living openly and authentically as a gay man was life-changing. He describes the moment he first said the words “I’m gay” out loud – it was equally terrifying and exhilarating.
While coming out is deeply personal, Panos emphasises the power and possibility of living as your authentic self. His tale resonates with the human experience of overcoming fear to become who we’re meant to be.
Join the Community: Panos’ Invitation
Now, it’s your turn. Dive into Panos’ world through his YouTube channel. Beyond his coming-out story, you’ll find a treasure trove of content – from lighthearted vlogs to insightful discussions. Panos doesn’t just share his life; he starts conversations that matter.
