Decoding Gay Dating Lingo: Your Guide for Grindr & More

Stay Current: Evolving Gay Dating Lingo on Grindr, Hornet, and Tinder

Hey there! Stepping into online dating can sometimes feel like learning a new language, especially on apps like Grindr, Hornet, or Tinder. But don’t worry, we’ve got your back. Whether you’re gay, bisexual, or just curious, understanding the shorthand on dating profiles can be the key to unlocking meaningful connections.

In this friendly guide, we’ll walk you through the most common terms you’ll encounter on men-seeking-men dating profiles. From the casual “NSA” (No Strings Attached) to the more serious “LTR” (Long Term Relationship), we’ll help you navigate the nuances of dating lingo so you can swipe, chat, and meet with confidence. So, let’s dive in and get you up to speed with the terms that’ll help you find exactly what you’re looking for.

As you explore the exciting realms of Grindr, Hornet, and Tinder, it’s important to note that this guide is just the beginning. The language of love and connection is constantly in flux, much like the features on your favourite dating apps. We’re committed to keeping this glossary as fresh and up-to-date as the profiles you swipe through. We’ll revisit and revise our list to reflect the latest trends and terms. Remember, as the dating world evolves, so too may the meanings of these terms. Keep this page bookmarked for the latest lingo, and always approach new expressions with curiosity. Whether you’re looking for fun, friendship, or a flame that lasts, understanding the language is your first step towards meaningful connections. Happy swiping on Grindr, Hornet, and Tinder!

Remember, this is all about making connections that feel right for you. So, keep it light, be yourself, and let’s start translating those profiles into potential matches.

Common Terms

420: Marijuana Friendly

• Contextual Usage: Indicates that the person is comfortable with marijuana use and may partake themselves.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects a relaxed attitude towards cannabis culture, which is becoming more accepted and legalised in various regions.

A1A: Age/Activity Partner Wanted

• Contextual Usage: Used to express interest in finding a partner for a specific activity, with age being a consideration.
• Cultural Significance: Highlights the importance of shared interests and compatible age in the formation of relationships or friendships.

AA: All Anal or Absolutely Anything

• Contextual Usage: This can indicate a preference for anal sex or a willingness to consider any sexual activity.
• Cultural Significance: Demonstrates openness to a range of sexual activities, suggesting a sexually liberated individual.

ASL: Age, Sex, Location

• Contextual Usage: A quick way to ask for or provide basic personal information.
• Cultural Significance: A staple of online chat culture, often used as an icebreaker in conversations.

BB: Bareback or Big Beautiful

• Contextual Usage: Refers to unprotected sex or could be used to describe someone who is plus-sized and attractive.
• Cultural Significance: In the context of unprotected sex, it speaks to the ongoing discussions about sexual health and safety.

BDSM: Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism

• Contextual Usage: Indicates an interest in a variety of practices involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the diversity of sexual preferences and the acceptance of BDSM in mainstream culture.

Bear: Larger, Hairy Man

• Contextual Usage: A term used within the gay community to describe a larger, often hairier man who projects an image of rugged masculinity.
• Cultural Significance: Part of a broader taxonomy in gay culture that celebrates diversity in body types and appearances.

BGF: Boyfriend Girlfriend

• Contextual Usage: Used to denote a relationship status or seeking a relationship that is not strictly defined by traditional gender roles.
• Cultural Significance: Indicates a move towards more fluid understandings of relationships and gender identities.

BL: Bottom Looking or Butt Lover

• Contextual Usage: Indicates a preference for the receptive role in anal sex or an interest in buttocks.
• Cultural Significance: Highlights the specificity of sexual roles and preferences within the gay community.

Bottom: Prefers the Receptive Role

• Contextual Usage: Used to describe someone who prefers to be on the receiving end of anal sex.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the importance of role preferences in compatibility and sexual identity within the community.

CD: Crossdresser

• Contextual Usage: Refers to an individual who wears clothing and other items commonly associated with the opposite gender.
• Cultural Significance: Highlights the diversity of gender expression and the importance of understanding and respecting individual identity choices.

CIM: Cum In Mouth

• Contextual Usage: Indicates a preference for ejaculating in a partner’s mouth during oral sex.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the explicit nature of sexual preferences and consent in sexual activities.

CL: Casual Long-term

• Contextual Usage: Used to describe a relationship that is not formally committed but has the potential for longevity.
• Cultural Significance: Represents a shift from traditional relationship structures to more flexible and individualised arrangements.

CNC: Consensual Non-Consent

• Contextual Usage: Refers to a mutual agreement to act out a non-consent scenario within a safe, controlled, and consensual environment.
• Cultural Significance: Emphasises the importance of consent in BDSM practices and the distinction between fantasy role-play and real-world actions.

CPL: Couple

• Contextual Usage: Indicates that the profile belongs to a couple, or that the individual is seeking a couple.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the inclusivity of different relationship dynamics and the openness to non-monogamous arrangements.

DADT: Don’t Ask Don’t Tell

• Contextual Usage: Suggests a preference for discretion about sexual activities or relationships, often within the context of an open relationship.
• Cultural Significance: Originating from a military context, it has been adopted by the LGBTQ+ community to describe discreet or private arrangements.

DDF: Drug and Disease Free

• Contextual Usage: Asserts that an individual does not use recreational drugs and is free from sexually transmitted infections.
• Cultural Significance: Indicates the importance placed on health and safety within sexual encounters.

DL: Down Low

• Contextual Usage: Refers to individuals, often men, who have sex with other men but do not publicly identify as gay or bisexual.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the complexities of sexual identity and the societal pressures that can lead to secretive behaviours.

DOM: Dominant

• Contextual Usage: Describes someone who takes the controlling role in BDSM activities or in sexual encounters.
• Cultural Significance: Part of the BDSM community’s terminology, highlighting the dynamics of power play in sexual relationships.

DTE: Down To Earth

• Contextual Usage: Used to describe a person who is practical, realistic, and without pretense.
• Cultural Significance: Valued trait in dating, indicating a preference for genuine connections over superficial interactions.

DTF: Down To F**k

• Contextual Usage: Directly indicates a person’s interest in engaging in sexual activity without necessarily seeking a relationship.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects a straightforward approach to sexual encounters, often associated with casual hook-up culture.

ENM: Ethical Non-Monogamy

• Contextual Usage: Describes a relationship where partners agree upon engaging in romantic or sexual activities with others, with honesty and consent.
• Cultural Significance: Represents a growing recognition of diverse relationship structures beyond traditional monogamy.

EP: Evening Person

• Contextual Usage: Indicates a preference for being active or socialising in the evening hours.
• Cultural Significance: Can be important in matching lifestyles for dating or social purposes.

FB: F**k Buddy

• Contextual Usage: Refers to a person with whom one has a sexual relationship without the commitment of a romantic relationship.
• Cultural Significance: Highlights the normalisation of casual sexual relationships separate from romantic involvement.

FROT: Frottage

• Contextual Usage: Describes a form of sexual activity that involves rubbing against the body of another person to achieve sexual satisfaction.
• Cultural Significance: Recognises the diversity of sexual practices that do not conform to traditional penetrative norms.

FWB: Friends With Benefits

• Contextual Usage: Indicates a friendship that includes sexual activity without the expectation of a romantic relationship.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects a cultural trend towards more casual and flexible sexual and romantic relationships.

GAM: Gay Asian Male

• Contextual Usage: Identifies a person’s sexual orientation and ethnicity, often used in dating profiles to indicate preference or identity.
• Cultural Significance: Demonstrates the intersectionality of sexual orientation and race in the dating scene.

GBM: Gay Black Male

• Contextual Usage: Similar to GAM, it identifies a person’s sexual orientation and ethnicity.
• Cultural Significance: Highlights the importance of acknowledging racial identity within the LGBTQ+ community.

GHM: Gay Hispanic Male

• Contextual Usage: Used to describe a gay male with Hispanic heritage.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the diverse ethnic backgrounds within the gay community.

GL: Good Looking

• Contextual Usage: A subjective term used to express that someone considers themselves or is seeking someone they consider to be physically attractive.
• Cultural Significance: Indicates the emphasis on physical appearance in the dating world.

GQ: Genderqueer

• Contextual Usage: Refers to individuals who do not subscribe to conventional gender distinctions but identify with neither, both, or a combination of male and female genders.
• Cultural Significance: Represents the fluidity of gender identity and the broader spectrum of gender beyond the binary.

GSOH: Good Sense of Humour

• Contextual Usage: Used in dating profiles to indicate that a person enjoys laughter and doesn’t take life too seriously or is seeking someone with a similar disposition.
• Cultural Significance: Highlights the value placed on humour in social and romantic interactions.

GWM: Gay White Male

• Contextual Usage: Identifies a person’s sexual orientation and race, often used in dating profiles to indicate preference or identity.
• Cultural Significance: Demonstrates the role of race and ethnicity in the social and sexual dynamics of the LGBTQ+ community.

HH: Househusband

• Contextual Usage: Refers to a man who prefers to take on the primary domestic role in the household, managing chores and caregiving.
• Cultural Significance: Challenges traditional gender roles and promotes the acceptance of domestic responsibility by any gender.

HJ: Handjob

• Contextual Usage: Explicitly describes a sexual act involving the manual stimulation of a partner’s genitals.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the explicit nature of communication regarding sexual preferences and activities.

HWP: Height/Weight Proportionate

• Contextual Usage: Indicates that an individual’s body weight is considered appropriate for their height, often used in dating profiles.
• Cultural Significance: Shows the importance placed on body image and physical attributes in the dating scene.

IBS: Into Being Submissive

• Contextual Usage: Indicates a preference for taking on a submissive role in sexual encounters or relationships.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the variety of preferences within sexual dynamics and the BDSM community.

ISO: In Search Of

• Contextual Usage: Used to express what one is looking for, whether it be certain traits in a partner or specific items or services.
• Cultural Significance: Commonly used in personal ads and online profiles to streamline the search for compatible partners or desired objects.

ITL: Intimacy Then Long-term

• Contextual Usage: Suggests a desire to establish a physical connection before committing to a long-term relationship.
• Cultural Significance: Indicates a preference for developing relationships that begin with a physical connection, which may or may not lead to something more enduring.

JO: Jacking Off

• Contextual Usage: A colloquial term for masturbation.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the openness and directness in discussing sexual activities in personal ads and profiles.

KINKS: Fetishes

• Contextual Usage: Refers to unconventional sexual preferences or activities.
• Cultural Significance: Indicates the acceptance and normalisation of diverse sexual interests within the community.

LDR: Long Distance Relationship

• Contextual Usage: Describes a romantic relationship where the partners are geographically separated.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the modern dynamics of relationships, where distance is bridged by communication technology.

LDL: Looks Don’t Matter

• Contextual Usage: Suggests that a person values personality or other qualities over physical appearance.
• Cultural Significance: Challenges the emphasis on physical attractiveness in dating and promotes deeper connections.

LM: Let’s Meet

• Contextual Usage: A straightforward invitation to meet in person.
• Cultural Significance: Demonstrates a direct approach to moving from online interaction to real-life engagement.

LTR: Long Term Relationship

• Contextual Usage: Indicates a desire for a committed, ongoing romantic relationship.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the pursuit of stability and long-term partnership in the dating scene.

M: Male

• Contextual Usage: Identifies the person’s gender as male.
• Cultural Significance: Basic demographic information, is often used to specify the gender one is interested in.

MBO: Married But Open

• Contextual Usage: Indicates someone is married but in an open relationship where extramarital encounters are permitted.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the diversity of marital arrangements and the acceptance of non-monogamy.

MF: Male Female

• Contextual Usage: Used to denote the gender composition in a situation, often a couple or a sought-after arrangement.
• Cultural Significance: Indicates the binary gender roles often sought in various types of relationships.

MFM: Male Female Male

• Contextual Usage: Describes a threesome involving two males and one female.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the specific sexual dynamics and arrangements people may seek.

MFMF: Male Female Male Female

• Contextual Usage: Indicates a foursome involving two males and two females.
• Cultural Significance: Suggests the openness to group sexual activities and the specificity with which people articulate their desires.

MM: Male Male

• Contextual Usage: Indicates an interaction or relationship involving two males, often used in the context of dating or sexual preferences.
• Cultural Significance: Highlights the identification of same-sex preferences in personal ads and dating profiles.

MP: Morning Person

• Contextual Usage: Describes someone who is energetically inclined towards the morning hours.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects lifestyle preferences that can be significant in compatibility for relationships or friendships.

MSM: Men who have Sex with Men

• Contextual Usage: A term used to describe males who engage in sexual activity with other males, regardless of how they identify their sexual orientation.
• Cultural Significance: Important in public health contexts to address the needs of this group without assuming identity.

NC: No Condoms

• Contextual Usage: Explicitly states a preference for sexual activity without the use of condoms.
• Cultural Significance: Raises issues of sexual health and the importance of safe sex practices.

NIP: Nipples

• Contextual Usage: May indicate a particular sexual interest or focus on nipples.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the specificity with which individuals communicate their sexual preferences.

NN: Non-Nude

• Contextual Usage: Used in contexts where individuals are looking for interactions that do not involve nudity, such as non-nude modelling or photography.
• Cultural Significance: Indicates boundaries and comfort levels regarding nudity in various contexts.

NPNC: No Picture, No Chat

• Contextual Usage: A stipulation that one will not engage in conversation without first seeing a photograph of the other person.
• Cultural Significance: Highlights the importance of physical attraction and identity verification in online interactions.

NQNS: No Quit No Spit (oral sex)

• Contextual Usage: Describes a preference for oral sex to completion without interruption or rejection of ejaculate.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the explicitness and specificity of sexual preferences in personal ads.

NSFW: Not Suitable For Work

• Contextual Usage: Warns that content may be inappropriate or offensive in a professional or public setting.
• Cultural Significance: Acknowledges the need to separate personal and professional spheres, especially in digital communications.

NSA: No Strings Attached

• Contextual Usage: Indicates a desire for a sexual or romantic encounter without the expectation of a relationship or further commitment.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects a culture of casual sex and the desire for relationships without emotional involvement.

ONS: One Night Stand

• Contextual Usage: Refers to a single night of sexual activity without the expectation of a relationship.
• Cultural Significance: Highlights the casual approach to sexual encounters prevalent in modern dating culture.

PL: Pansexual

• Contextual Usage: Describes a person whose sexual attraction is not limited by sex or gender.
• Cultural Significance: Represents the fluidity of sexual orientation and the recognition of more diverse identities.

PNC: Picture Needed to Chat

• Contextual Usage: Stipulates that a visual representation is required before engaging in conversation.
• Cultural Significance: Emphasises the role of physical attraction in initiating communication in the digital dating realm.

PNP: Party and Play (sex and drugs)

• Contextual Usage: Indicates the combination of drug use with sexual activity.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects a subculture within the gay community that combines recreational drug use with sexual encounters.

PSE: Porn Star Experience

• Contextual Usage: Suggests a sexual encounter that mimics the intensity and kinkiness of a pornographic film.
• Cultural Significance: Indicates the influence of pornography on sexual expectations and desires.

SB: Sugar Baby

• Contextual Usage: Refers to a person who engages in a relationship in exchange for material benefits, usually with an older and wealthier partner.
• Cultural Significance: Highlights the transactional nature of certain relationships and the commodification of companionship.

SDC: Swingers Date Club

• Contextual Usage: Refers to a platform or venue where individuals or couples interested in swinging can meet.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the normalisation and organisation of swinging as a lifestyle within certain communities.

SD: Sugar Daddy

• Contextual Usage: Describes an older, wealthier person who provides material benefits to a younger partner in exchange for companionship or sexual favours.
• Cultural Significance: Represents a particular dynamic in relationships that is both criticised and embraced in different parts of society.

SOP: Standard Operating Procedure

• Contextual Usage: Typically used in professional contexts to refer to a set procedure or protocol.
• Cultural Significance: Its use in personal ads may be humorous or indicate a preference for routine and structure.

SOT: Switch On Top

• Contextual Usage: In BDSM, refers to someone who is versatile but prefers the dominant role.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the nuances and preferences within BDSM roles and dynamics.

SRS: Sex Reassignment Surgery

• Contextual Usage: Refers to surgical procedures that alter a person’s physical sex to match their gender identity.
• Cultural Significance: Represents the journey and experiences of transgender individuals seeking to align their bodies with their gender identity.

SSC: Safe, Sane, Consensual

• Contextual Usage: A principle within the BDSM community that all activities should be safe, sane, and consensual.
• Cultural Significance: Highlights the importance of safety, mental soundness, and mutual agreement in sexual activities, especially within BDSM.

SWF: Single White Female

• Contextual Usage: Indicates a single white female, often used in personal ads to describe oneself or the type of partner one is seeking.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the specificity with which people seek partners, often along racial and marital status lines.

TBD: To Be Determined

• Contextual Usage: Indicates that details are not yet decided or confirmed.
• Cultural Significance: Suggests flexibility or uncertainty in plans or arrangements.

TLC: Tender Loving Care

• Contextual Usage: Expresses a desire for or a willingness to provide affection and care.
• Cultural Significance: Emphasises the importance of nurturing and affectionate aspects in relationships.

TPE: Total Power Exchange

• Contextual Usage: A BDSM term where one person gives complete control to another in all aspects of their life.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the deep trust and commitment involved in certain BDSM relationships.

TS: Transexual

• Contextual Usage: Refers to a person who identifies with a gender different from their assigned sex at birth and may seek to transition physically.
• Cultural Significance: Highlights the experiences and identities of transgender individuals within the broader LGBTQ+ community.

TV: Transvestite

• Contextual Usage: Describes a person, typically a male, who dresses in clothing traditionally worn by the opposite sex.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the complexity of gender expression and the distinction between gender identity and cross-dressing.

UE: Unemployed

• Contextual Usage: Indicates that a person is currently without employment.
• Cultural Significance: This may be relevant in the context of dating where financial stability is a consideration.

VGL: Very Good Looking

• Contextual Usage: Used to describe oneself or someone else as highly attractive.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the emphasis on physical appearance in social and romantic contexts.

WK: Well Known

• Contextual Usage: Used to describe someone dating normalising something that is widely recognised or famous.
• Cultural Significance: This may indicate a person’s status or popularity within a community.

WLTM: Would Like to Meet

• Contextual Usage: Expresses a desire to meet someone, often used in personal ads.
• Cultural Significance: Reflects the direct approach of individuals in seeking connections or relationships.

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