Side Identity in Gay Relationships: Let’s delve into the topic of “side” in the context of male same-sex relationships. Often, in discussions among men who are interested in other men, terms like “top,” “bottom,” and “versatile” are frequently used to describe sexual preferences and roles. However, these labels might not resonate with everyone. If these conventional categories don’t align with your identity or preferences, you might identify with the term “side.” This concept offers an alternative way of defining oneself, distinct from the more traditional labels. Would you like to know more about how “side” is defined in this context, or perhaps about the broader spectrum of identities in the LGBTQ+ community?
What’s the Deal with Being a Side?
‘A side is someone who’s into intimate stuff like kissing, touching, oral, mutual masturbation, frottage – but isn’t about that penetrative life. Sides are looking for connections beyond hole’s in-and-out.
“The side label was created by sexologist Joe Kort for guys seeking intimacy in ways besides just butt play. For many sides, things often considered “foreplay” end up being the main event that revs their engine!” The side label was created by sexologist Joe Kort for guys seeking intimacy in ways besides just butt play. For many sides, things considered “foreplay” are the main event that revs their engine!
Sides tend to be all about:
- Whole body and mindful sensuality – massages, skin contact, etc.
- Oral delights – 69ing is a fave!
- Frotting, grinding, manual stimulation – hands-on pleasure!
- Emotional and verbal connection – intimacy is mental, too!
- Flexible intimacy based on the flow, not set roles
- Prostate play – it’s pleasure, not penetration
- Kink/BDSM dynamics – restraints, impact play and more!
The bottom line is that the sides are exploring the whole menu of sensual intimacy beyond just penetration. There are so many flavours to savour!
Why This Side Label Is So Helpful
The introduction of the term “side” provides men with a more expansive vocabulary to express their sexual preferences beyond the conventional labels of “top” or “bottom.” This new terminology facilitates discussions about aspects of sexuality that are often overlooked, broadening the understanding of individual desires and identities. It’s a significant step towards acknowledging male same-sex relationships’ diverse and nuanced nature.
Recognizing sides helps to:
- Normalise guy-on-guy intimacy without penetration
- Validate desires outside the old top/bottom binary.
- Reduce shame if you don’t fit expectations
- Showcase the spectrum of male sexual diversity!
- Foster a community for sides who can feel isolated.
- Improve communication of your needs.
- Empower dudes to have intimacy their way
- Include the full buffet of how guys can connect
So, in summary, shouting out sides gives men more freedom to explore intimacy in ways that genuinely fill them up!
Building Confidence to Embrace Your Side Identity
Owning your desires fully as a side means boldly being your intimate truth. Here’s how to unleash your confident side:
“Say”I’m a side” out loud and proud – Make it natural to claim your identity.”Say “I’m a side” out loud and proud – Make it natural to claim your identity.
Firmly set your boundaries – Don’t do stuff you don’t want to do. Just say no if needed.
Tell partners exactly how to rock your world – Give them explicit directions; don’t make them guess.
Have those courageous conversations. Share your side experiences so they can understand your needs.
Find your side community – Online or in-person spaces to feel seen and valid.
Now, you never need to justify your desires – Your truth is whole as it is, period.
“Release any leftover shame – Toss out old beliefs your desires are somehow” less than”.”Release any leftover shame – Toss out old beliefs your desires are somehow “less than”.
See confident role models – Find proud sides living their truth to inspire your journey.
By embracing your side identity fully, you can kick shame to the curb and walk your sensual truth on the wild side!
Exploring Fulfilment on Your Side Terms
With your side identity clarified, you have the green light to explore intimacy that lights your fire.
Ways for sides to indulge their sensual side:
- Sensual massage – Experience the eroticism of intimate touch and bodywork.
- Frotting and grinding – Feel the friction of non-penetrative genital play.
- Oral delights – Savour the giving and receiving of mouth magic via 69ing or otherwise.
- Manual stimulation – Discover pleasures like mutual masturbation and handjobs.
- Sex toys galore – Vibrators, sleeves, restraints – oh my!
- Skin-to-skin contact – Don’t underestimate the power of kissing, cuddling and complete body contact.
- Prostate massage – Target the P-spot without penetration.
- Kink/BDSM play – Bondage, impact play and more to turn up the heat!
The intimate world is your oyster when you craft experiences based on your unique desires. Time to get creative and dive into that side of yourself!
Closing Thoughts
However, you, as a man interested in men experiencing intimacy – top, bottom, side, or anywhere in between – embrace what gets your motor running! Let go of limiting expectations.
Intimacy beyond penetration can be just as hot, connecting and fulfilling. If this label resonates with your true sensual nature, own it fully! Surround yourself with supportive communities. Communicate your needs. Explore new sensual horizons.
The healthiest intimacy aligns with YOUR core truths. So get intimate with yourself first. Tune into your desires, your boundaries, and your wholeness. Embrace what makes you feel seen, satisfied and alive!
Does this side speak to you? Listen to its call! I’m cheering you on as you move to the beat of your inner groove!
